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90′s Preservation Society: Mighty Ducks Fantasy Draft

 

This is a post that originally appeared around two years ago at the now-defunct 90′s Preservation Society. Since we’re deep into the first round of Stanley Cup Playoffs, I figured it was appropriate to repost. In it, Pedro and I conduct a Mighty Ducks fantasy draft. In retrospect, we probably should have done it snake style instead of playground style, since my team is stacked. Enjoy. (Continued)

Tina Fey vs. Taylor Swift: An Adventure in Overanalysis and Not Being Able to Take a Joke

Taylor Swift, in belligerent red

Vulture, New York Magazine’s “pop culture” blog, had an item earlier today about Taylor Swift hitting out at Tina Fey over remarks the comedienne made about her in January, while hosting the Golden Globes. At one point, Fey turned to Swift and said “Stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son.” The line got big laughs, likely trading on Swift’s tabloid reputation for going through boyfriends quickly and then writing thinly-veiled songs about them. Vulture quotes an upcoming Vanity Fair piece, in which Taylor Swift responds to a question about the evening by citing a favorite quote of Katie Couric’s, which is actually a quote by Madeleine Albright: that there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. Edith Crawley, you’re on notice. (Continued)

Favorite Music of 2012

2012 was probably less of an interesting year for music, at least album-wise, than 2011 was, but still a handful of excellent tracks.  Here are my favorites, presented without comment and in no particular order.

Grimes – “Oblivion”

I know I said no particular order, but “Oblivion” is my number 1 for the year.

(Continued)

Either the Internet Is Wrong About Skyfall or I Am

I'M GETTIN' TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT SO I'M JUST GONNA LIE DOWN AND JUST CLOSE MY EYES FOR A SEC

I returned from the movie theater last night, having just seen Skyfall, the most recent outing in the award winning James Bond movie franchise, and the first thing I did was load Rotten Tomatoes.  Upon loading it, I confirmed what I already knew: the movie had a 91% approval rating from a conglomeration of diverse movie critics, suggesting the type of near-universal acclaim generally reserved for Pixar movies and Batman reboots.  I scrolled down the page, scanning the blurbs of appreciative text accompanying the more positive reviews: “Dark, supple and punctuated” or “Exciting and commandingly compelling,” or “Samuel Fucking Mendes!” for example.  I checked the aggregate score again, which was still 91%, then loaded the IMDB page where I noted the 8.1 score, strong enough to put it in the Top 250 movies of all time, as judged by the internet, and higher than 8 1/2, Rocky and The Exorcist, among countless others.  I was confused, head spinning.  I poured a drink from my parents’ complimentary liquor cabinet and cross referenced all of this with the experience I just had at the Hampton Bays United Artists Cinemas, concluding that either the entire Internet is wrong, or I am. (Continued)

A Tale of Two Cities

The Empire State Building, partially obscured by unpowered city blocks

For Halloween this year, I’m going as a refugee.  Like all topical costumes, I’m not the only one at the party rocking it, since I’m joined by thousands of other New Yorkers trudging uptown to the areas whose electricity wasn’t cut by Superstorm Sandy. (Continued)

Love in a Time of Comital Entails

Downton Abbey makes white nerds tweet like Kanye

-@morgan_murphy

There are primarily three types of people who append Roman numerals to their names: monarchs, popes and Americans.  If there exists an explanation for this incongruity other than vanity, then I have to admit I am ignorant of it.  What I am certain of, though, is that the phenomenon has more to do with aping monarchic naming traditions than it does honoring the likes of Benedict XVI.  This is not only because the majority of IIIs and IVs in our country are at least patronymically Anglo-Saxon, and therefore view Catholics with the sort of skepticism that yokel Midwesterners might save for theistic satanists and Harry Potter readers, but also because it dovetails nicely with what I view as a general and unhealthy fascination with the trappings of British and European aristocracy. (Continued)

The Hunger Games Are Stupid (And So Can You!)

On the advice of a friend, I read The Hunger Games, book one of the eponymous trilogy (the movie will be released this Spring), by Suzanne Collins this past May.  The story centers around the questionably-named Katniss Everdeen, who lives in a future dystopia (this is basically redundant.  Is there ever a book about the future where everyone is just like holy shit the future kicks so much ass?) in which a couple dozen kids are sent every year into an elaborate colosseum to kill each other to the death.

Now such a premise (ignore the stupid name of the protagonist) holds a ton of promise.  What’s not to love about a world where children are forced to fight to the death for entertainment purposes?  The built-in critiques of our society are so interesting and powerful that one basically doesn’t even need to do anything to improve upon them.  Which is why it’s so disappointing that the book sucks so much.

Yeah, you heard me counter-cultural pre-teen America: your favorite book (series) SUCKS.  In this post, I will explain a few of the things that I find particularly offensive about The Hunger Games.  A lot of these are probably unique to me and represent my own idiosyncrasies as a reader.  Others are more general.  Either way, as the media blitz surrounding the movie release grows in intensity, I felt it necessary to codify my thoughts and distribute them to you, my loyal reader(s).  Read on! (Continued)

Favorite Music of 2011

The end of the year means reflection.  In that spirit, here is some of my favorite music of the year, presented in no particular order.  I would provide Youtube links but I’m lazy.  Most of this stuff should also be available on spotify (if you’re not using spotify, you’re crazy). (Continued)

Basket Case and 80′s Philadelphic Cinemas

The best part about being home for the holidays is staying up late, taxing my parents liquor cabinet and watching Netflix streaming all night.  Recently, about 90% of my Netflixing has involved watching episode after episode of critically acclaimed TV like Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights or Parks & Recreation (not getting the fuss, so far).  I realized that I hadn’t really seen any new movies in 2011, so after a few glasses of Macallan I decided to load up Take Me Home Tonight (2011), starring Topher Grace and Anna Faris.  The basic premise is this: it is the 80s, Topher Grace just moved home after graduating college and doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life.  Also, it is the 80s, which is something that you really need to know if you’re going to understand the film. (Continued)

Skrillenomics

Here is a rough timeline of my past few days:

  • Tuesday, 3pm:  Find out that Skrillex is doing a show at Terminal 5 w/ Skream and Benga on February 4th, 2012.  This makes me excite.
  • Tuesday, 3:05pm: Discover that Ticketmaster Amex Presale takes place tomorrow (i.e. Wednesday) at noon.
  • Wednesday, 12:00pm: Logged on to ticketmaster.com, frantically refreshing the page only to discover that the presale tickets have sold out within minutes.  Whatever, I’ll get tickets during general sale tomorrow (i.e. Thursday) at noon.
  • Wednesday, 9:00pm: walk into Whiskeytown.
  • Thursday, ~12:00 am: leave Sing Sing (updated.  THX BOBBY)
  • Thursday, 12:00 pm: Logged on to ticketmaster.com, frantically refreshing the page only to discover that all tickets have sold out within minutes.
  • Thursday, 12:30 pm: Discover over 500 tickets already available on Stubhub, starting at $100 and going up to $500.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

(Continued)